Suzanne Kathleen Laughlin
That is the name of the best friend that I had to say goodbye to way too soon. She was the kind of friend that you just could NOT wait to be around. She was fun, hysterical, loyal, and always ready to do something. I really wish she could have been here to know that I was pregnant with Kobe. I really wish she could have been with me on the top of that mountain when I married John. I wish she could have know my Sam. They called Susie "sam" sometimes... I believe Susie and Sam would have been quite the pair! She was the sweetest friend that you could have ever dreamed of having.
Everyone keeps asking me if I remember where I was when the twin towers were attacked on 9-11-01. I do. But I don't quite associate it that way. I was sitting on the couch at my house. I was crying and mourning the loss of my best friend. I was trying to stay strong because I was pregnant with Kobe and I did not want to do anything that might cause problems in my pregnancy but it was hard to not break down. I did. Several times. I still do at times. I wasn't aware that the 9-11 incident was even a terrorist attack until days later because I was dealing with such a personal loss that I could not wrap my mind around what the news was saying and showing.
I have a photo book of all pictures of Susie that her sweet mom, Marg, made for us. I look at it often . I have several things that she gave me over the years that I cherish. I guess I hold on to them because they are from her and they are all I really have left.
I don't have any siblings. I am unsure of the magnitude of grief that her sisters felt when they heard the devasting news. I know that a sisterly bond is like no other. Because I do not have a sister... I don't know for sure... but I felt as if she were a sister to me.
She will never be forgotten and I will always remember her and I still drive my boys by her mom's house where she lived at Christmas so we can tell her "Merry Christmas". I tell my boys all about her and little things she loved and things she didn't love! I show them pictures of her and when we are outside sometimes if they see a bright star they tell me they think it may be Susie smiling at us. I love that I am old enough to appreciate the person she was and still is... as I allow her to live on through me. I will always remember her with a heart full of love.
|Susie, Lori, and Me|
I miss her but I am very lucky that she introduced me to Lori. Lori has always been my friend but this tragedy made us both realize how precious friendship is and we have remained the best of friends over all the years. We laugh, celebrate, cry, and even plot together! Still. To this very day. She is like an aunt to my children as I am to hers. We honor Susie's memory by making sure to stay loyal and in contact because we know that is exactly what Susie would have done if she were still here.
Sometimes, I do just have a good old cry because something really good or horrible has happened... and I think ... man, I wish Susie were here today. But, she is here. I know that. I just sometimes get selfish and want to talk to her and hug her and hang out for a while and have a Diet Coke!
I am so thankful for the years of friendship she gave me and the lessons in real friendship she taught me.
Susie may be gone but she will never be forgotten and she will always be loved by me.
|The Vase Susie gave me before she moved...|
|The tote bag Susie made me for my 18th birthday :)|
|A vase Susie gave me when I moved into my first apartment|
|Photo Album from Marg|
|My *most* favorite picture of Susie!|
|Susie and her babies!|