Once again, I sit here in the early stages of party planning. This is a fun task for me since I LOVE planning parties, showers, teas, and any sort of get together. I love putting all the little personalized details on everything so that when it is done ... it is a very memorable occasion.
It is almost time for all four kids to turn yet another year older. In a little over two months I will have seen four parties come and go (plus John's too!). I love all the planning and buying and preparing... but the one part I don't enjoy is realizing that each one of them will be one step closer to being grown ups and leaving me! It really makes me feel so emotional and just like a giant mushy baby. This is the last year of Callum's life that he won't be a driver. Typing that just makes me want to scream... can you imagine?! I mean, on the road, driving, and being a responsible citizen? I know he will do well, but I just can't imagine him being old enough to learn to drive next year! This will be the last year that Haley is a "kid". She will turn into a teenager... a young woman and she is already so mature that I can't imagine her even becoming older and more responsible but I know she has a lot in store in her life. This is my last year of my little huggable boy, Kobe. He is already starting to be "too big" to hug, kiss, and tell me that he loves me (in front of others, anyway). I know that this next year holds so much for him and that mentally, emotionally, and phyiscally he will grow leaps and bounds. I also know that this is likely one of the last years of his sweet childhood innocence. I know he will lose a lot of that over the next year. This will be my sweet baby Samuel's last year before he goes to kindergarten (or kindergarbage as he calls it). The last year of a pre-schooler. This is likely where I began to really get emotional because he is my baby and my last baby and so thinking of him "growing up" is very, very hard. I love that they are growing up into wonderful, smart, funny,Christ-loving, praise and worshiping, and beautiful children but it is so sad all at the same time. This is the part where I laugh, because I think of the scene in Father of the Bride where he is watching her play basketball, only he sees her as she looked at six years old instead of in her twenties. I laugh because I know how he feels. I do the same thing. When I look at them, I still see them as my babies. I still use that image of them in my mind's eye. I am so thankful that I was trusted with these precious lives by my Heavenly Father so I could have the privelidge of being their earthly parent. I couldn't imagine my life without them. They each make my heart sing and swell with pride and joy... after all, that is what they are to me. They are my heart's song and the pride and joy of my life.
I do this every single year. I start planning Haley and Kobe's parties and the emotions just take over. It continues all the way through until I am finished with Samuel and Calllum's parties. I am sure it doesn't hurt that my birthday is around the corner and this year I will be the big 3-0. I know it is said over and over by others ... but, really, where has my time gone? I am so glad that I am lucky enough to know every single story. I know every scar, every laugh, every cry, and every memory. I have those and I tuck them in my heart so I will never forget them. I know the back story to everything in thier little lives and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love my children with every ounce of my being and I am so proud that I am blessed and privlidged enough to have them call me "Mommy". I guess it is true what they say... they do grow up way too fast. My only adivce: Don't Blink.
Just like that you're six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you're twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did
Turning into moms and dads next thing you know your "better half"
Of fifty years is there in bed
And you're praying God takes you instead
Trust me friend a hundred years goes faster than you think
So don't blink
---Don't Blink by Kenny Chesney